Kumbaya my lord, the DMV my lord

I went to the DMV to renew my license. After 5 hours of misery I find out I had to redo my written test to finish the process of renewing my driver’s license. I approached the written test counter a little timidly because I had not prepared for the written test. A lovely young woman wearing a large cross of Jesus, pulls out a sheet with 25 multi-choice questions on both sides. She advised me to pick one side and fill it out. I get back in line after finishing the 25 multi choice questions. An hour later I get to the front of the line. I have now been at the DMV for six hours, feeling agitated. The lovely young woman wearing a huge cross of Jesus, is still on the counter. I am quickly assessing how I may improve my chances of passing the written test I have not prepared for. I place the test down and start staring at her. I share with her, that I am a recent born-again Christian. I then ask her if we could hold hands and pray before she marks my test. We start holding hands and praying, when I start humming the spiritual song kum ba yah my lord. I then began singing “kum ba yah my lord, I am in the DMV my lord” she has a moment and tears start streaming down her face. She removed herself to wipe her mascara that had run from the tears. When she came back she acknowledged our shared special moment. She proceeded to tell me she would now mark my written test. She explained if I got more than three questions incorrect I would fail. She starts marking my test, getting to the finish she pauses and, tells me God has just spoken to her. I got 4 questions incorrect, but god advised her to allow me a second chance. God told her to pick three of the easiest questions of the other 25 questions on the back of the sheet. If I was able to get these three questions correct God advised her to allow me to pass the written test and, renew my driver’s license. I got the three questions correct and she granted me a pass enabling me to renew my driver’s license. I held a straight face and never laughed at all. I managed to get out into the parking lot before I lost it, with perfuse laughter, while rolling on the ground. I was so glad she had no idea of what just transpired. The security guard in the parking lot was curious why I was laughing profusely on the ground and I said to him “you would not believe what just happened inside “and I left.

Years later I shared this sketch with my close friend. who was president of Television at a major studio. He thought it was hilarious. He could not believe that this sketch actually happened to me and, thought the sketch was so good that he become my mentor. I could not convince him that this sketch was totally real.

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